We’ve noticed this house popping up on sites all around the city, from Division to Alberta, much to our chagrin. In an homage to our favorite blog, McMansion Hell, let’s take a look a this ugly Frankenstein hot mess of a building.
Shit Haus
This ridiculous pile of garbage is exemplary of why a lot of Portlanders are deeply suspicious of things like the Residential Infill Project. We suspect that if there was any architect involved in this design, it was the sort of architect who spent all their history lectures looking at Facebook on their phone. There’s no coherent design idea here, just a bunch of material samples a realtor might have grabbed from Pinterest and stitched together to make a structure.
Nobody complains about “cookie-cutter” when the cookie tastes good.
This sort of “architecture” passes for “modernism” though it’s really anything but Modern with a capital M. The modern movement’s axiom of form follows function is parodied here with pointless forms that serve no function. There’s nothing intentional about this, just a superficial copy of the most trivial aspects of actual modernist design. Long story short, a bunch of random rectangles composed in an asymmetric pattern (actually kind of difficult when you’re building a mirrored townhouse).
Of course there’s always someone who’s prepared to step up and defend the indefensible. Their argument usually amounts to “but muh freedom” or something like that. Let’s be clear, these arguments are usually pretty disingenuous and come from debate-club wankers who delight in contrarianism because it’s fun to wind people up and have a laugh.
And, of course, if you designed this and you meet us on the street, please, not the face!
This is not so much a cookie as a shit sandwich